Self-care Isn’t Selfish
Self-care has historically gotten a bad wrap as it is seen as overindulgent in our fast-paced, super-competitive society. People hear self-care and think long bubble baths or spa weekends that they simply don’t have time for. They’re just trying to keep up with a family, a career, and a house. There’s no time to stop and devote time to care for yourself and, even if you want to, it’s not productive. If there is one thing that this society has pounded into your head it’s that you must ALWAYS be productive.
And then, 1 year ago today, we heard the WHO declare the COVID-19 pandemic. The hours, days, and weeks that followed were disorienting, to say the least. Information was changing hour by hour in the early days and within a week absolutely everything except essential services was shut down. People were trying to ensure that their basic needs were met and some were panic-buying supplies. Our world was turned upside down nearly overnight. Some people initially tried to “use the time well” and set about all manner of baking, cooking, puzzling, crafting, and home improvement adventures. Soon enough though, as our anticipated 2-4 week quarantine stretched much longer, survival mode, grief, anxiety, and depression took hold. For a society that was never taught to value self-care, we had few resources to handle what was happening.
How the heck was a bubble bath supposed to help with this hopelessness that we were feeling?
This is the crux of the issue. Yes, self-care can include some luxurious elements but it’s mainly about how you treat yourself with care. After all, you’re a human too and you deserve to be loved and nurtured. It’s nice to have others who do that for you but it is vital that you do so for yourself. You likely spend much of your time caring for others, maybe more this past year than ever before. All of that care and compassion you pour into other people can leave you feeling depleted. Compassion fatigue is a real thing, nevermind the fatigue that comes with round-the-clock parenting/teaching/working as families are all working and schooling in the same house all day, every day.
In order to weather the stress and strain that this strange moment in history has visited upon us, it’s important to take some time for yourself each day. It’s even more important now as the initial surge of energy has long worn off. It is helpful for your mental health and it allows you to fill up your reserves to be able to help those around you. Taking time for yourself simply allows you to help them better. You’ll come from a more grounded place. You’ll be calmer and more emotionally available. You’ll feel better in your own skin too as you won’t be as stressed.
Self-care is not selfish, it’s necessary.
What kind of self-care works? All kinds. It’s about the intention, not the specific action. The intention is to care for yourself in mind, body, and soul. Try simple things. Below is a list of some suggestions each of which takes about 5 minutes or less. Choose what works for you. Feel free to change what you do from day to day. The goal is not to give you yet another to-do list but to give you some options. The most important thing is that you care for yourself in a way that works for you.
Drink a glass of water.
Put your feet up for 5 minutes while you drink your coffee, it’s OK to hide if you need to.
Light a candle on your desk while you’re working.
Find a playlist of calming music to play while you work, walk, or clean.
Read a chapter in a book or a page if that is all you have time for.
Turn off the news.
Cozy up under a blanket for a few minutes.
When ordering food (on days you feel like you just can’t cook again) find something healthy and delicious. Let someone else chop all those veggies while you reap the benefits. Tip well.
Walk around your house and appreciate what you do have (cozy, safe, filled with love and happy memories). The clutter doesn’t matter.
Stretch, even if it’s just for a few seconds here and there as you’re getting off of a call or walking between rooms.
Dance in the kitchen, or playroom, or backyard. Bonus points if you annoy your teenager.
Put your phone down and walk away.
Enjoy dessert.
Plan a trip, or start a Pinterest board you can add to over time. It doesn’t matter if you take the trip or not, the simple act of dreaming about it will help shift your energy.
Give yourself permission to feel how you feel.
Journal, even a sentence or two will make a difference.
If you feel you need permission from someone else to take a bit of time for yourself, here you have it! Print, pick your pronoun, and fill in your name. Click here.
It’s OK to take care of you too!
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