Seeing With Clear Eyes
"I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright, bright sunshiny day."*
What would life be like if you walked through your days with clear eyes? What if you saw the things that happen as challenges and opportunities rather than as insurmountable problems?
Would you get more done? Would you have more energy? Would you be happier?
I'd venture to guess that the answer to all of these is yes.
So that begs the question of how? How do you get here?
The answer is practice. That's really all it is. It's a skill that you can learn like anything else and over time it will start to happen without you having to think about it.
The next time something unexpected happens that you would usually label as "bad," ask yourself these questions.
How would I view this if I was in a different mood?
If it happened to someone else, how could I help them see their options? (Perhaps you know someone who has been through the same thing. Use their experience as your guidebook.)
How would I guide my child or friend if this were to happen in their life?
The point of these questions is to give yourself some distance from the situation. I'm not suggesting that you run from things, I'm suggesting you take a few steps back so you can see more of the picture. Have a look at the examples below. Sometimes things can look very different when you are narrowly focused.
Is she distraught?
Or is she in awe?
Stepping back gives you a moment to process what's going on so that you can respond rather than react. The more often you practice distancing yourself for a moment to gain some perspective, the more naturally it will come. You'll notice that you are increasingly confident. You'll notice that things are easier to solve. You'll notice that you take fewer and fewer things personally.
Over time you might even get a little thrill of excitement when things go differently than you thought they would because now you have the chance to use your creativity to come up with new ideas and solutions. My favorite trick when something goes unexpectedly is to either call it a "plot twist" and laugh a little bit or to tilt my head to one side and say "interesting". Then it's time to get to work, one step at a time. It can be fun to work out the puzzles and there's a feeling of accomplishment when you triumph over something that seemed hard to figure out at first.
From one of my favorite films,
“At some point, everything is going to go south on you, everything is going to go south and you're going to say this is it, this is how I end. Now you can either accept that or you can get to work. That's all it is, you just… begin. You do the math, you solve one problem, and you solve the next, and then the next.”
- Matt Damon as Mark Watney in The Martian
Take the first step. Solve the first problem. Build your momentum and trust yourself. The problems you solve today will fuel you tomorrow. The more you practice, the more of the picture you can see early in the process.
Today, just begin.
You don't have to climb the whole mountain this very minute, just take one step forward. Recruit help when possible. Studies show that actual mountains seem 20% less steep and easier to climb when participants were simply standing next to someone at the base rather than standing alone. The same is true for metaphorical mountains. You don't have to go it alone. Friends, family, and colleagues are great options for support when climbing those mountains. So are coaches. Find a partner that you can work with and get started.
As always, please feel free to contact me with questions or to learn more about how coaching can help you climb your own mountains at Cheryl@resettingjoy.com.
Wishing you clear eyes and short mountains.
*Song lyrics from I Can See Clearly Now by Jimmy Cliff. Head on over to your favorite streaming service to finish the song so it can be properly stuck in your head all day while you solve one thing at a time.
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