The Glorification of Busy
Even now, in the middle of a pandemic, we’re busy. We’ve found things to take on when everything else around us shut down. We could have chosen to use the time to reflect, read, take up a new hobby, or sleep. Early on in March and April people did just that but then things started to open again and people wanted some sense of normalcy. They found ways to be busy again.
What do we gain from being busy all the time? Obviously, we get something from it or we wouldn’t keep our living like this. In fact, when someone asks you how you are, I’d bet that more that occasionally your answer is “busy.” I know mine is.
So, what do we get from this and how is it serving us?
We get to feel important and needed, as if things will all fall apart if we stop doing everything we’ve assigned ourselves. We get to occupy our minds with tasks, to do lists, and busywork. If we occupy our minds and every second of our day, no one will notice what we secretly believe to be true about ourselves…I’m not good enough.
It’s true isn’t it? That’s what you think deep down inside.
Here’s the secret, everybody thinks they’re not good enough. Not only that, we all think that everyone else has got it all figured out and we are the only one that doesn’t. So, we stay busy, we do all the things, we serve, we volunteer, WE MAKE THINGS HAPPEN – seemingly impossible things just to stay ahead of the possibility that anyone will find out we are not what we seem. If we show weakness, vulnerability, or the hint that we are not the smartest person in the room, we think we’ll prove what we fear the most – that we don’t belong and we can’t be loved.
Here are my questions for you. Who told you that you have to be perfect in order to be loved? Who told you that perfect people exist? Who told you that you are the only person with behind the scenes footage in your life and that EVERYONE else lives a life of perfection just as it appears on social media?
Logically, of course, you know that people are not perfect but it sure doesn’t feel that way. It’s lonely.
So how do you work your way out of this cycle of pleasing other people, working long unhealthy hours, or buying happiness with retail therapy?
Stop.
Breathe.
Take a look at your life and decide what YOUR priorities and values are, not what others have told you they should be. What do you think is important in life? If you don’t know where to start, ask for help. In case no one else has told you, it’s OK to invest in yourself.
It’s not selfish at all. In fact, it’s one of the most caring things you can do. Once you are aligned and happy with who you are, you are a person that others really want to be around. It’s just like they say on the plane at the beginning of every flight, in the event of an emergency, put on your own mask before helping others. When you have the resources within you serve, you can serve well. When your resources are depleted, you can’t help anyone else. Being constantly busy depletes our internal resources. Take the time you need. Invest in help, coaching, or therapy.
It’s OK to take care of yourself too.
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